I feel like this is where I need to start with my blog. It’s not my favourite topic but it’s something that has definitely affected my life and my maternity leave which is the reason I have extra time on my hands to write this. If you don’t know what coronavirus is I really applaud you, that’s really impressive. I’m not going to give my opinion on Covid 19 here or the politics of it. I will say this though, it sucks!
We’ll start with the negative here.. yes coronavirus sucks. No this is not how I thought my first maternity leave would go. Yes sometimes I forget it’s happening and when I realize it’s actually still a reality it makes me angry and upset. Now we’ve got that out there have been some positives if you can believe it.
1. People have learned to wash their hands.
2. People have been doing amazing and nice things for strangers which is so beautiful to see.
3. People are getting crafty; learning how to bake breads and making tie-dye t shirts.
4. People are spending time as a family.
For me personally, Baby T was just over 6 months old when quarantine started. We had just gotten back from a trip to Florida with friends and family, I was just starting to have some of my Postpartum OCD symptoms (great timing), and I think I could count on my two hands how many days I had spent alone with my daughter. To be fair, I had a difficult recovery after having her and needed all the help I could get. My mother and mother in-law were amazing through everything, they were there whenever I needed them. My mother in-law even held the baby from 11pm to 3am when she was teeny tiny so I could get some sleep without worrying she was going to die in her sleep (maybe the OCD actually started earlier). Even as the months went on and my body recovered they each helped multiple days a week. My husband was also having a slow time at work so he was home a lot as well to help (#yayforhandsondad). Then quarantine started and my husband’s work picked back up and I was very quickly left alone with my baby every single day for 6 weeks. I quickly realized I had relied a lot on other people to help me and I needed to learn to stand on my own to feet as a mother. It was very difficult I’m not going to lie. Anyone who has had Postpartum OCD knows that being left alone with your baby is the last thing you sometimes want to do. But honestly, looking back, I’m so thankful for it. It was awkward and stressful and there were a lot of tears but I proved to myself that I could 100% do it and that I was a better mom than I thought I was. Now that things have opened up a bit again and we’ve been able to see the Grandma’s again, I realize that having the help isn’t an absolute need. It’s more of a luxury and Baby T and I can survive on our own. The Grandma’s still see her multiple times a week but we call them visits now instead of “Oh my god please come help me”… although some days that is still the case and that’s totally okay. It’s called balance.