We’re days away from Baby T being nine months and I can barely believe it! It’s been such a whirlwind and when I think of nine months in and nine months out it seems like a whole lifetime. I’ve talked about my pregnancy so you already know about the nine months in, here’s a few things I’ve learned and appreciated about nine months out.
Live in the moment. Baby T is constantly growing and learning new things. When she was a tiny little bean and couldn’t even roll or hold her head up I was always looking forward to the next thing she would learn to do, getting one step closer to independence. Once she got to the next big thing I would miss the last phase. As hard as it is I’ve learned to just appreciate whatever she does each day, even if it’s just a funny little noise she’s making. I know one day it will be the last day she makes that noise. Every few days there’s something new and exciting to watch her do.
Mom-ing is hard but rewarding. The days all seem the same when you’re a mom, baby wakes up, you change and feed baby, then you play for a bit, then they go for a nap and it starts all over again. Sometimes Baby T has a rough day whether it’s teething or not enough sleep and she can be a stage ten clinger; she’ll refuse to nap on her own or be put down. This is where I find that extra patience and empathy I didn’t know I had. I know that Baby T is usually a happy smiling baby, so if she’s acting like this there’s obviously something upsetting her physically or mentally. It’s my job as a mom to help her through it. These days are hard and tiring but when she snuggles in for a cuddle or a hug and I know I’m doing my job of comforting her, it’s the best feeling in the world.
You can’t care for a baby if you’re not caring for yourself first. There have been so many times in the past nine months that I’ve forgotten to eat, forgotten to drink any water, had barely any sleep while Baby T sleeps peacefully next to me or felt completely burned out. Getting to this point physically, emotionally and mentally doesn’t do anyone any good. I have a hard time focusing on Baby T and get physically tired very quickly from carrying her around to the point that I get dizzy and need to sit down. These are usually the days I end up calling one of the Grandmas to come and help so I can rest up. If I plan to take the time to rest or get other things done ahead of time, or preplan my meals for the day, have some easy snacks on hand and make sure I carry my full water bottle around with me then things go a lot smoother.
Don’t forget about your marriage. I’m not sure if you knew this already but making a baby takes two people. Raising a baby as a couple takes teamwork and if there’s tension in the relationship between a husband and wife who are also parents then things can get complicated. For the first few months, Baby T didn’t go to bed until midnight and my husband and I would be so exhausted that we would go straight to bed. We spent our entire day and night focused on our new little bundle which isn’t in itself a bad thing. Once Baby T started going to bed earlier it was amazing having some time in the evening to ourselves. Especially during COVID-19 lockdown, we would spend that time together watching movies or a tv show which we normally wouldn’t have done very often even before Baby T (I’m an early bedtime kind of girl). We grew a lot closer and our communication and teamwork have only gotten better since then. Shawn Johnson (former USA gold medal Olympian) put it so perfectly, speaking of her husband Andrew: “He is MY favourite person and our baby is OUR favourite person.” We are still allowed to put each other first while at the same time putting our baby first.
You might not lose all your baby weight from breastfeeding. I had this myth in my head when I planned to breastfeed, I thought, it’ll be great I’ll feed my baby and lose weight at the same time. I’d seen it done with other moms and thought it was just guaranteed to happen. It’s not. There are so many different factors with it and sometimes it just doesn’t happen. So here I am nine months out and I still weigh the same I did at two months postpartum. It’s a tough pill to swallow when before I got pregnant I was in the best shape of my life after working hard at the gym for three years and loving it. I was told that it takes nine months for your body to make the baby, it takes nine months to one year for your body to recover. So I’ve learned to just be patient with myself. I exercised back then because I loved it, not because I was punishing myself and I think it’s important to get back to that mindset because like I said, you can’t care for your baby if you’re not properly caring for yourself.
So there you have it, my last nine months in a nutshell. It seems like such a small part in Baby T and I’s lives but it seems like what we’ve both learned will continue to stick with us for the next eighteen to twenty-five years we have together under one roof.