Becoming a mom changes you.
Sure, your body changes sometimes beyond recognition. It feels like it’s no longer yours but belongs to your kids for comfort and transportation.
And sure, you have new fears and anxieties that you never even knew existed. You constantly worry about the safety of little pieces of yourself running around and also worry if you’re ever doing enough for them.
But you also change in the best way.
You become stronger and braver by sticking up for what’s best for your kids.
You find patience you never knew you had to give them a chance to learn on their own.
You have a new kind of love for something that you never imagined could be so strong and bring you so much joy.
You’ll never be the same again, but deep down you know you’re more than you ever thought you’d become.
I wrote this recently thinking about how for the first year after becoming a mother I just felt like so much in my life had changed and at times I only had negative feelings about it. But once I settled in to this new identity as a mom I realized that it’s a part of life to grow and to change. We are never the same person we were 10-15 years ago, we’re constantly changing and learning.
When you become a mom you change and learn so quickly and take on this caregiver role that a lot of us have never had to have before. The most responsibility I had before having kids was a dog and after having kids these little lives become your responsibility. It can be very overwhelming, but when you really think about the qualities you’re developing as a parent they’re all great qualities to have.
I am not typically considered a patient person, but not that long ago I turned to my husband and said “I don’t know where this patience with our daughter comes from” (she’s two so if you know you know). His response was, “It didn’t come from anywhere, you’re just a good mom”.
As moms we’re so quick to focus on our own negative traits that we’ve developed as parents, but for the negative traits there are also a ton of positive traits (most likely more). If you take a minute to think of these changes and new traits as a positive thing you might realize you’re doing a lot better than you thought. You may be becoming a person that is so much more than you ever believed you’d be.
So embrace it and embrace yourself. You can still bring back some of the old you, while understanding that the new you is amazing in her own right.